FROM UNDER THE TURTLE TREE
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  • *before dinner*
  • mom: alright lets say thanks before we eat
  • me: thanks pete
  • dad: what
  • me: thANKS PETE
  • mom: who is pete
  • me: THANKS PETE
  • me: *gets up and leaves*
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autumn-fhtagn:

If you don’t think different shapes of pasta taste differently you can fuck off

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hoodrat-gutterpigeon:

fuckingcockstar:

I got suspended today for beating up a girl who bullied me for years. My mom said she’s never been more proud

*applauds* 

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  • me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
  • me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
  • me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
  • me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
  • me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
  • me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
  • me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
  • me: omg what if I actually said something out loud
  • me: omg what if there is a telepath around here
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coluring:

*Loses weight because is too lazy to walk to the kitchen every day*